Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Springtime In America! - GOT OBNOXIOUS BEHAVIOR?

The following is A Public Service Announcement!


Welcome to Springtime in America!!!!

Welcome to Springtime in America where our neighborhoods are no longer filled with the sweet welcoming sounds of birds and crickets after a long winter---but rather---are a noise pollution nightmare acoustic SEWER filled with the excessive sound and putrid stench of leaf blowers weed wackers, and chainsaws!!! Oh, and I should mention the migraine headache causing SMELL of the household using a whole bottle of laundry detergent that you can smell from a block away!!!


Welcome to Springtime in America where we continually see the audio terrorists and wannabe THUGS riding around in boom cars!……AND.... the revving of them there good 'ole HARLEYS! YEEEEE---HAWWWWW!!! How nice this is at 2:00 AM….. what a sound to lull you to sleep! But heeeay…..it’s ok, these sweet benevolent guys can be as obnoxious or lawless behaving as they want because they believe in America, freedom, GOD..and the flag …..ride for the kiddies---and would rather put their money into illegally modifying their bike’s exhaust system than into beautifying their home!!!!


Welcome to Springtime in America where the sight of obesity is always within eye-shot no matter which direction you turn your head!

Welcome to Springtime in America where car windows have become trash disposals for fast food litter, cigarette butts and plastic cigar tips, junk food packaging, and a host of other trash!

Welcome to Springtime in America where you'll find a myriad of tapestry weaving turds from all breeds of dogs as owners are too lazy to use the bio-degradable bags to clean up after their lovely pets!

Welcome to Springtime in America where the one time flowery fragrance of spring now smells more like the Ortho Lawn chemical section at Wal-Mart!

Welcome to Springtime in America where we can catch George W. Bush and a host of other right wing extremists dropping our own Mother into a boiling pot of water----BUT still find a way to rationalize it, deny it……and go on supporting them as usual!!!!

Welcome to Springtime in America, where in many places, a single guy or gal in his/her 30's or 40's has the cast of Jerry Springer from which to chose!

Welcome to Springtime in America where we cannot even throw trash into the trash can....let alone recycle it!!!!

Welcome to Springtime in America where fashion is wearing pants hanging off your ass. (These pants are called "Crap Catchers" because those who wear them often seem to be running from police in such an awkward fashion, looking like a modern day minstrel show, and in their fear, crap in these pants which offer plenty of room to mess yourself multiple times!)

Welcome to Springtime in America where cutting down trees and mowing 30 acres of lawn is considered productive conservation!

Welcome to Springtime in America where in many places natural organic leaf litter from trees along the curb has been replaced with ripped out hair extensions (A.K.A. "Pimp Pieces") and condoms!!!

We hope you enjoy your stay in this wonderful hot pit of feral, rogue and ill-bred behavior where rude, loud and obnoxious behavior is glamorized by mass marketing…..where WWF, NASCAR, Huntin', 4-wheelin', fishin' and bingo are just but a stone’s throw away!!!

So c'mon inside, grab yer food stamps, take yer shoes off, wave yer flag and THUMP yer Bible, tote yer gun....have a smoke or a chew.. maybe a beer....SHOW US YER TATOOS….pet yer pit bull…show us your snake...trim yer goatee, and relax... Take in all that Springtime in America has to offer!!! We'll leave a spot for ya on the front porch couch!

Be sure to redeem this article for free Wal-Mart coupons or a FREE 1 year NRA membership and/or subscription to Tea party News--the party that benefits the little guy!!!




Does any of the above happen in YOUR neighborhood these days? Has any of the above activity or kind of individuals compromised your quality of life? If so, leave me a comment!

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